


Like Dog and Cats

by alkjira



Series: Fix-it (!) December [12]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Animals, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, pre cat/dog relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 08:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2766800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dori, no. Never trust dogs." Nori shot Dwalin a dark look. "Probably looking to eat Ori."</p><p>Dwalin assumed that Ori was the kitten as it meeped and hid behind the larger of the two cats.</p><p>"I don't want to eat anyone," Dwalin grumbled. "Follow me, at least if you don't want to sleep in the snow tonight."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Dog and Cats

**Author's Note:**

> Still writing and uploading from mobile so formatting might be screwed in places (as well as other things as proof reading is rather hopeless)

The Great Dane lifted his head and growled low in his throat. The snow had started falling and at first he saw nothing, then two shadows slipped loose.

"Quit your barking we're just passing through."

"A little late to be out with a pup," Dwalin said disapprovingly as he saw that it was actually three cats and not two walking across his mistress' backyard.

"Kitten," the same cat who had spoken before hissed. "And none of your business."

"Don't talk to it, Nori," the other cat said quietly, but not quietly enough that Dwalin couldn't hear. "We need to find a place to stay tonight."

The pu-kitten shivered and pressed closer to the bigger of the two cats. It was much too skinny, they all were, and Dwalin frowned.

"You don't live with a human do you?"

He knew there were animals like that, but he'd never met any before, except for the annoying birds and squirrels that kept coming into his back yard. Cats usually didn't.

"None of your business," the slimmer of the two bigger cats hissed again and green eyes glared at Dwalin, the shine from the porch light reflecting in them.

"Nori come on. It's already dark."

All of the three cats' eyes widened as Dwalin stood up. The slim cat, Nori, growled.

"You might be big but I've got sharp claws. Don't try anything."

"I can show you were you can spend the night. Someplace warm."

The larger of the cat hesitated and now it was Nori's turn to prompt their little trio to continue.

"Dori, no. Never trust dogs." He shot Dwalin a dark look. "Probably looking to eat Ori."

Dwalin assumed that Ori was the kitten as it meeped and hid behind the larger cat.

"I don't want to eat anyone," Dwalin grumbled. "Follow me, at least if you don't want to sleep in the snow tonight."

Hopping down from the porch Dwalin gave the cats a wide berth as he moved towards the garage, the garage with the door that Víli never remembered to close properly. And as the human had been there earlier that day...

Yes indeed.

Dwalin pawed at the slightly ajar garage door, pushing it all the way open with his nose.

Looking over his shoulders he didn't see the cats, but he heard something moving nearby. And the air still held an unfamiliar smell.

He slipped into the garage and shook himself to get rid of the snowflakes that had landed on him and then walked over to the corner where he knew there'd be some old blankets. Biting down on the corner of one he pulled the pile of them closer to the small radiator standing at the back wall.

He didn't see any cats when he went back outside either, and he didn't look for any.

Instead he nudged the door until it was barely open; just open enough for three slim cats to slip inside, and started to walk towards the house.

Mistress Dís' pups were well trained and let him inside almost immediately after he'd scratched at the back door. Dwalin deliberately didn't look behind him as he walked in, not wanting anyone else to think there might be something unusual going on in the back yard.

 

-

The next morning when Dwalin was let outside he quickly did his business before setting off towards the garage.

He found three separate tracks in the snow, leading away from the garage, and he didn't find any cats in it when he looked. But the blankets definitely smelled of them, and Dwalin sneezed as a stray hair tickled his nose.

-

Another week went by before he saw them again. Not that he had been looking for them during walks or anything like that... Not at all having any thoughts about green, suspicious eyes.

But even so they were back in his back yard.

He might be mistaken but to him the cats looked even smaller than before.

The little one was shivering again and Dwalin's ears drooped slightly.

"The garage isn't open now," he said, both bigger cats stiffening, fur puffed up and tails stiff.

The kitten just pressed himself down in the ground, trying to make himself smaller still.

Dwalin took a step closer and the larger cats hissed at him.

"If you have a human you've gotten a really crappy one," Dwalin huffed. "There's a window open to the kitchen, if you wait I can-"

"Why are you helping us?" the green eyed cat asked, said green eyes narrowed into thin slits.

"Because you look like you need it," Dwalin said bluntly. "Go around the house, get up on the railing and wait until my humans leave the kitchen. Once you get inside you go left and upstairs."

He didn't wait for a reply instead turning around and walking at a brisk pace to the door.

-

Humans were an excitable lot and it was easy enough to get everyone out of the kitchen by knocking over that annoying lamp next to the sofa that always buzzed when someone turned it on. The crash was _very_ satisfying.

-

Some time later after looking suitably apologetic and regretful Dwalin slipped upstairs. He whuffed softly looking around trying to see if the cats had come inside or not.

"Cats?"

"Dog," came from beneath a large closet. A paw crept out, claws bared. "Don't try anything."

Dwalin huffed. "You're welcome."

A very very tiny voice said: "I'm hungry."

"Ori, shush." "Don't shush him," Dwalin frowned. "I can get you something to eat."

The visible paw twitched and disappeared.

A whispered conversation ensued and Dwalin tried not to listen. Instead he flopped down on his stomach and tried to peer beneath the closet, still lying a good distance away in case that paw made a return.

A tiny head popped out from underneath the piece of furniture and Dwalin's tail thumped against the floor. "Ori?"

The kitten nodded shyly. It was almost the same colour as Dwalin's cousin Gloín, something he hadn't realised before what with the dark and the snow.

"My name is Dwalin."

"Ori get back here!"

The shy expression immediately turned stubborn.

"But the dog seems nice."

"And he might think that you're nice too. As an appetiser."

"If you think I'm going to try and eat you then why did you come?" Dwalin huffed. There was no reply and Dwalin's ears flicked in annoyance.

"Fine. Wait there. I'll bring something to eat."

-

Knowing that Kíli was defenceless to pleading eyes and a dejected expression Dwalin sought the pup out. Normally he didn't do it, unless there was something exceptionally delicious at stake, but now it was not for his own benefit.

Luck would have it that his youngest human was in the living room eating a ham and cheese sandwich and even though Dwalin suspected that the cats couldn't eat bread there'd still be something for them until he was fed later.

If he'd known he'd have 'guests' he'd saved some of his food from that morning.

-

Nudging the half-of-a sandwich beneath the closet Dwalin then backed up a few steps.

"My humans are nice," he said casually. "If they knew you were here-"

"We'd be back on the street or worse," the voice he'd come to recognise as Nori said. "I heard children before. They're not nice."

"The pups?" Dwalin asked, offended. "They're nice. Good at scratching ears and throwing balls."

A soft snort.

"I don't think- Ori, no!"

The kitten scurried out from beneath the closet and stopped between Dwalin's front paws.

(It is also worth mentioning that it was hardly any bigger than Dwalin's front paws.)

"Ori come back here now!"

Having half a mind to lick the tiny thing and call it delicious Dwalin decided to be the mature one and instead nudged the tiny kitten very gently. "You should do what-" he paused. "Are they your parents?"

"They're my brothers," the kitten said and put his paw on Dwalin's, head tilting in fascination. "You're very large."

"And he'll have very large wounds if something were to happen," Nori growled as he squeezed himself out from beneath the closet."Ori you need to listen to Dori."

Everyone froze as there was the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

As quick as anything both cats were hidden beneath the closet again and Dwalin adopted an innocent expression.

"If he's hidden the sandwich somewhere..." he heard Víli sigh. "You can't let him walk off with food. Remember the bit of chicken you found beneath your bed?"

Dwalin wouldn't have left it there for long, thank you very much. He just wanted to have a snack for later. It was only bones that needed to be tucked away for much much later.

"He looked really hungry," Kíli defended himself. He peeked up when he saw Dwalin. "You ate the sandwich didn't you Dwal?"

Much to his own consternation Dwalin felt himself glance at the closet.

Víli snorted. "What did I tell you." He nudged Kíli. "I call not having to get it."

"Fine," Kíli sighed, and Dwalin whined. "Sorry Dwalin, but I'm not allowed to eat in my room either."

Getting on his hands and knees next to the closet Kíli flinched when one of the cats hissed.

"If there's a snake beneath the closet it can keep the sandwich."

"There's no snake," Víli said. "Or if there is one its not going to be dangerous."

Kíli gave him an unconvinced look.

"But let's get your mother just in case," Víli added and Dwalin's tail thumped as he assumed that it meant his humans would be leaving. But no such luck.

"Dís, honey, could you please come upstairs?"

"I'm not going to play 'find the sandwich'! I nominate Kíli!"

"We might have found a... problem."

"If Dwalin has thrown up I still nominate Kíli. Don't feed him people food!"

"We can't feed you people food anymore," Víli told his son. "You heard your mother."

"Haha," Kíli said and rolled his eyes.

Dwalin's ears twitched as he heard familiar steps on the stairs.

"What's the story, morning glory?" Dís asked as her head became visible.

"There might be a snake beneath the closet," Kíli said and shrugged. "Possibly eating the sandwich."

Dís blinked. "What?" She looked at Dwalin who still wore his best innocent expression. "Is there a snake in here?"

Dwalin held his head high. He wasn't ashamed of what he had done. Instead he started wagging his tail to show that everything was perfectly okay.

"It's a snake Dwalin likes then," Dís stated. "You know how he gets with squirrels. I think a snake would rate higher on the growly scale."

Dwalin whuffed in agreement. Squirrels were bloody annoying. He wasn't sure what this snake thing was but he was sure he wouldn't like it.

Dwalin's ears twitched again as a soft meow was heard.

"The snake is _meowing_ ," Dís informed her husband and son.

"I promise they're nice," Dwalin said to the cats. "We know people who have cats. Well a cat. _And_ -" he added sardonically. "They've always had just one cat, I've not eaten any."

"Ori!" Dori yelped. And then Ori was parked between Dwalin's paws once more.

"Yup," Dís said. "That's the cutest snake I've ever seen."

**Author's Note:**

> And of course they got to stay and lived happily ever after (and I might write this part when I've access to a computer)


End file.
